how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
