I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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