He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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