I'm gonna have a badass scar
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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