i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
