I'm gonna have a badass scar
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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