better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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