she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
