Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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