i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
