I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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