There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
