and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
