just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
