Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
