Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
