best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize