I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
