I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
