I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
