she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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