i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
