We won't sleep together?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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