the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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