How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
