is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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