sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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