Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
