i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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