You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
