Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
