I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
