Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
