Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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