Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Randomize
