Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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