how can u be prego again
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
