how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
