I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
