he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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