Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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