There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
