Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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