Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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