I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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