Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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