please come you make the beer taste better
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Life is so much better after having sex.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
