My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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