How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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