Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
