He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
