there was a trapeze. enough said
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
And then he peed in my hair
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