it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
