Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize