I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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