It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize