don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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