We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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