another moral hangover. fuck.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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