Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
