the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
